Monday, November 29, 2010

Waking up in Seattle

I guess this would be as good a time as any to add to this abandoned blog now that I've just returned from my first trip back to Seattle and remember again why I chose to do this move in the first place (there was some questioning!). I caught the train bright and early the morning of the Thanks. It was a gorgeous, snowy 4+hour ride. I spent it reading, thinking, and writing letters to a man out of San Fran.



Coming home, seeing the whole family, going back to the island and seeing my two closest girlfriends was exactly what I needed to gain some perspective on these past couple of months after the move. I got filled up on love and got back in touch the instincts that told me Portland was the next step. Thanksgiving was great. My family is beautiful. My childhood best friend, Bridget (from Berkeley) joined in per usual and brought her boyfriend to meet The Family (my family/our family). I got special time in with mom, caught up with my brother, saw dad in passing, spent irreplaceable time with Bri, my soul sister, and was surprised to find there will be a new family home to come to visit for Christmas!






                                      

Thanksgiving was at my grandparent's house on Vashon Island. This is seriously the best clan I could ask to be related to. I just dig 'em... a lot. The food was gorgeous and delicious and simple, the house was warm, the conversations were a kick and the music ruled (courtesy of cousin Wes and his guitar). Each and every one of those vibrant, special people under that roof Thursday night added to where I am today. That's such a cool thought. I'm so grateful for it. Jesus, I missed them.







 (no island visit is complete without aunt Jennifer's granola)



Friday and Saturday were spent with the ladies. Friday night I shook my ass to DJ Zac Hendrix with Bridget in Ballard at the Sunset Tavern. Saturday I roamed Capitol Hill and prowled photobooths with Bri.

 


 Before heading back on that train last night, I got some really sweet time with my grandparents, madre and wee bro while dad was at work. I whipped up my mom's first (positive) adulthood brussels sprout experience (I found them a couple of weeks ago and can't stop making them) and we sat around and sipped on her homemade butternut squash soup and picked at a warm loaf of vegan, gluten-free rosemary garlic bread from up the street. My grandma brought me some old family photos and miscellaneous jewels and my grandpa talked (fertilizer) shop. How I love them.



(there are little words for how much I adore this picture of my grandma and her sister. the gorgeous pendant was made by her father. something I had to shoot for inspiration) 

Seattle was sweet and the visit was needed. I love the people in it, but it's no longer the city for me. Portland is home. 

The past few months have been... I won't lie - hard. Different? Different hard? Good hard, rough hard, maybe a necessary kind of 'hard'. With my shifting perspective I've been able to move out of the realm of "bad days". Now I just have different days: quite days, loud days, bad hair days, colorful days, black days, crying days, funny days, cute days, sweet days, really good hair days, all-I-want-is-oatmeal days, experimental days, cold days, movie days, library days, I-think-I'll-try-this-bottle-of-wine-and-not-leave-the-house days, I-forgot-to-pull-my-dress-down(in public) days, I-love-the-bus days, and I-can't-afford-to-do-anything days. But all for a good cause - myself. Those are the kinds of days I have. Human days.

Things have started to pick-up now that I've got a grip on my heart and landed work (I'd be damned if I were going back North!). My roommates are the biggest dearhearts and I'm so grateful to be living in their beautiful home (even if it is only for another month - a possible sublet). My krapht is growing strong out here. Kirsten lent me one of her desks upstairs in the studio and it truly is my little sacred space that I love being able to tuck into. Slow, but coming along, I've also set up my Etsy shop for Pine Marten's 'kraphtwurk'. I've already had a few purchases and an interested local boutique so it's started off nice. I've started working, serving sushi at a little family joint on Broadway. It's slow and humbling and I think just what I needed - I get paid for drinking green tea and staring at fishtanks. The language barrier was a challenge, but I think it's good for me - talk about having to pay attention! I'm not getting my rent paid in a weekend, but there's a trade-off and it's a little something I call sanity! They treat me well, though, and I kind of feel like I'm working in an aquarium that plays Bonobo on repeat. I eat everything with chopsticks, put soy sauce in my hummus (fact) and will eat your ginger (and wasabi) if you don't. After weeks of nothing, I finally heard back from my dream(serving)gig with the Luddites of Ned Ludd. I start on Saturday. That, I am stoked on! 

When I haven't been working I've been writing, reading, trying all sorts of art workshops in search of my b e l o v e d medium (oh hello, lino cuts!), watching oddities on the boob-tube in movie-land in our family room with the ladies, not riding my bike in the rain (or much at all), drinking a lot of wine, making art, trying to make art, not feeling like making art, experimenting, getting to know the girls better, riding the bus, getting lost on the bus, getting lost off of the bus, having my roommate tattoo a heirloom tomato on my arm in tribute to the Covelo days, grocery shopping (because food stamps are awesome!), growing my hair out, going to woman's group art therapy, taking walks, collecting old photographs and papers, visiting salvage yards, writing letters and taking care of myself; my dreams. All the things a gypsied-up, 23-year old who wants to sit with paper and glue and pliers all day does, I guess! I'm looking forward to letting these months ahead unfold. I've learned a lot. I know four things for certain: I like Portland, I love art, I really, really like brussels sprouts and I think I'm doing a pretty good job being me. It's safe to assume the rest will unfold as naturally as it already has. I've been working closely with patience each and every day.

As a very special cousin would say: "I love you (all) like a giant!"

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